Oh Debbie!

aw FUCK man, there's no words, no fucking words, shit. whats wrong with the world when a smart witty girl with a wicked sense of humour thinks she's a failure, mate, just because you didnt get to uni does not make one a failure at life, there are many, MANY paths to sucess my friend, you said that yourself to me!! hey perhaps after doing a year or two at Tafe you could get into uni that way? or you can always go back later? you've still got options left bud, the world's end isnt nigh, although i can understand why you would feel it would be, i have no idea what it feels like to be in your situation, to any degree, and bud, just because i happen to be a big Chris fan, does not mean id rather hang out with him than you, if anything id love for just us to to go on an outing together and not tell him!!!! i love the guy to death but sometimes it feels as though im re-arranging my life to suit him when he wants to see me, im behind in all my work already cause he wanted to see me yesterday, and cause i can't stick up for myself when i need to say something i said yes cause i wanted to keep him happy, i know my issues with him are trivial in the eyes of yours and i know that, im not comparing, but seriously im angry dont think i dont wanna hang with you, i get angry at chris when we all go out together like us three cause he's the one thats always talking to me and wont talk to you, not cause he dont like you but cause he just can't leave me be, and if i dont talk to him he gets shit (as you've often seen) arrrgh lol. But in regards to you finding some new friends, do as you wish, i dont deserve you and you're right, im not the best friend you could have, i wish i could explain myself to you but words escape me, i am, in short, a horrid excuse for a mate, and i can accept the fact that i havent always been there for you, i may not want to or like it but i have to, and countless times ive said id change but to no avail, so if you dont want me around, i understand 200%.
As with all your family problems, there is one thing i will do for you and you better know it, ive said it before a few times, because i MEAN it, i'll come with you to find some answers to how to fix everything thats making you hurt, i'll very happily go with you and hell even pay for (i still got a bit sittin in my accout for emergencies) you to go talk to a pro, id even recommend who to see as ive seen my share lol, ive seen some wonderful totally down to earth doctors who arent full of shit and actually listen to you and try and sort you out, just ask and if you want me to i'll go, i mean it, or even if theres shit you wanna say to your mum and you need someone to hear you out first, let it be me, ive seen my share of busted up families, mines broken in ways you wouldnt believe too for horrible things that have been done to each other, to me, i still feel sick for thinking about it, theres rifts in my family too that can never, ever be fixed, no matter who says sorry or how many times, so in a way, i guess i can relate to the whole family bullshit/being treated like dirt, all that, so in a last ditched effort to keep you as a mate, when you read this, though i hope its not too late already, come talk to me, id ring ya but mum put a lock on the phone, i dont know the code, unless she dials it before i call someone, no one in this house can make long distance phone calls (meaning glengarry, Traralgon or tyres and anywhere after that) so looks like i wont have to be paying for phone bills the length of my arm anymore, but yeah, serious, talk to me maybe we can sort something out eh? and maybe i'll end up telling you some things as well, shit that Chris doesnt even know and i plan on never telling him, whadya say? one last go before you head me off completely?

see ya round champ
Emmy Fay