Things are sucking right now

my mum just rang with some news that really annoys me. hardly any details are given and it just leaves me upset and annoyed. shes cutting me off in no uncertain terms yet she still expects everything to stay the same well it isn't going to there is going to be some serious issues that arise from this situation i'm starting to worry all this shitty news around christmas the hardest time of the year financially without this shit happening. well i hope she realises our relationship will not be the same it was already on thin ice and thats it i've had enough. she didn't care enough about my sister and i to ask us whether we wanted to live with her to her we are inconviences that she only wants a fortnight a week. all these things that she has said over the years have made me hate her not dislike her but hate her greatly. its my fault that my dad doesn't have a job its because i couldn't stand to be put in child care so her quit his job to take me cause she wouldn't then she left and dad had to raise my sister and i because there was no one else who could. there are so many things that she has done that have made me hate her she doesn't know me yet she thinks she does. i wanted to become a photographer and she wouldn't pay for it. you see when my grandma passed away she left my aunty, my uncle and my mum some money and my mum proceeded to give some of her money to her partners brother in law so he could buy a truck. that made me feel special. My sister has all these reasons for why my mum does these things and they make sense to her. my mum confided in my sister while she was leaving with my mum that i would never forgive her for what she'd done and my god she couldn't have be anymore right i won't forgive her certainly not for this. she can spend her money on holidays every 2 months and my dad and i will learn to live off what the government gives us. i'm meant to be going to my mums tomorrow and i will but only to get an explaination and if this shit doesn't get resolved then i will never speak to her again. she obviously doesn't give a shit about what happens to me so fuck her. i know it sounds stupid to not want to talk to my mum over money but money is what we need to survive damn i wish i could survive on laughter or my thoughts but i can't and she has now destroyed everything