Things are sucking right now

my mum just rang with some news that really annoys me. hardly any details are given and it just leaves me upset and annoyed. shes cutting me off in no uncertain terms yet she still expects everything to stay the same well it isn't going to there is going to be some serious issues that arise from this situation i'm starting to worry all this shitty news around christmas the hardest time of the year financially without this shit happening. well i hope she realises our relationship will not be the same it was already on thin ice and thats it i've had enough. she didn't care enough about my sister and i to ask us whether we wanted to live with her to her we are inconviences that she only wants a fortnight a week. all these things that she has said over the years have made me hate her not dislike her but hate her greatly. its my fault that my dad doesn't have a job its because i couldn't stand to be put in child care so her quit his job to take me cause she wouldn't then she left and dad had to raise my sister and i because there was no one else who could. there are so many things that she has done that have made me hate her she doesn't know me yet she thinks she does. i wanted to become a photographer and she wouldn't pay for it. you see when my grandma passed away she left my aunty, my uncle and my mum some money and my mum proceeded to give some of her money to her partners brother in law so he could buy a truck. that made me feel special. My sister has all these reasons for why my mum does these things and they make sense to her. my mum confided in my sister while she was leaving with my mum that i would never forgive her for what she'd done and my god she couldn't have be anymore right i won't forgive her certainly not for this. she can spend her money on holidays every 2 months and my dad and i will learn to live off what the government gives us. i'm meant to be going to my mums tomorrow and i will but only to get an explaination and if this shit doesn't get resolved then i will never speak to her again. she obviously doesn't give a shit about what happens to me so fuck her. i know it sounds stupid to not want to talk to my mum over money but money is what we need to survive damn i wish i could survive on laughter or my thoughts but i can't and she has now destroyed everything

I said i would publish a blog before new years

Well it appears that i survived christmas it was a bit touch and go there. i had my cousins and uncle at the house from wednesday til yesterday (monday) and it became difficult towards the end my freedom gets removed and its something i quite enjoy i like to be able to stay up late watching movies on our semi big screen tv instead of my midget 34cm that i love but you can't deny that it is kind of small. as i write this blog i am on my dad's computer i think i was banded from it when i got my own and now he looks at me funny when i am on it. i am currently talking my cousin through some technical difficulties he is like 250 km away from me and its rather hard to explain what is happening but i think we are getting somewhere. i am using msn to talk to him which is really weird and it can be difficult to understand what he is saying.

umm ok christmas eve i visited my neighbours and met the new ones who have been there since like june they are extremely nice and easy going. if we were at home more i'm sure we would meet up with them quite often. Christmas day was busy i didn't get up til late but i was a tiny bit depressed and wanted some alone time so i just shut my door and did nothing but think and watch a few movies. santa didn't visit but he hasn't in the past few years. oh well you can't win them all. dad cooke the pork for the family lunch it was extremely nice and went down a treat for dinner that night and lunch the next day. i so enjoyed it. my aunty joy absolutely loved my earrings that were an early christmas present from my dad's friend john and rayne i'm so going to take a photo for them and publish it on the blog for you all to see. rayne made the earring she sales them at the morwell sunday market for those of you who live around the area she also sells necklaces and bracelets and some other stuff. the meal was nice there was a lot of choice and no real fighting occurred although i think marian was a little annoyed at mum for sitting across the table from her and not right next to her. not a big deal but she looked annoyed.joy kept going on about the fear her fruuit cake/pudding wouldn't taste nice pity there had already been a taste test and it was given an ok.

presents now presents was fun i was santa well the gift hander outer. i was stock piling my gifts cause other wise people sit there watching me as i unwrap gifts waiting for me to hand them one. i'm sorry but i dont like to do that to people. i feel bad when i do that. anyway i got me a display case for my model motorbikes its a custom job created for me to carry all 62 of my champion ship racing bikes and damn it is big and heavy but hey it'll look good when it is finished. i also got some clothes including a pair of jeans, a world without strangers TShirt, a shirt with a cat on it, a singlet top, a kawasaki raceteam jumper and a kappa jumper, i also got a king kong stress toy, the barry sheene biography, a sudoku book, a bracelet kit from canada, candles and vouchers. i think that covers it pretty well. i'm trying to think of what sharon got me and i can't think of anything she would have gotten me something i know she did but i can't think of it for the life of me. it was a great day

yesterday i got a call from bev to come in and do a show from 9-10:30 it was a punk like show so i decided to bring tash along and it may have been our best radio show ever so i hope that tomorrow's show is good too. for those of you in the area who can pick up 104.7 gippsland fm listen in from 4-6 pm every wednesday and you will hear tash and me having a bunch of random fun. i just helped matt with his problem victory for me.

i have been trying to decide what to do next year if i dont get offered a uni place i might try all the radio stations around the area gippsland fm must like me if they keep offering me all these shifts they must really like and it might mean i'm talented so it might be a thing i could do in the future. umm well i need to jet again i'm in the middle of doing a big clean out of my room. i need to finish cleaning sharons room up we did the quick clean up before the family arrived and now we need to do the big clean up and throw things out. i need to do that in my room as well. oh yeah i also got photoframes and that for christmas and albums and film so i'm all happy. i'm still hunting down dan for the money he owes me cause i could really use it at the moment. bye bye my readers i'll catch up to you in the new year. hector have a great new year i hope all is well and you all have a good new year. love you all and yeah thats the end of my rant for today

Merry Christmas to all

hi all i hope this post sees you all well and awaiting some form of christmas type celebration or anything that deserves geeting and wishes of wellness, happiness and getting together with that family that pisses you off the rest of the year.

i have already experienced a family christmas with my dads side of the family a total disaster with 2 of his sisters arriving late while knowing my sister had to leave for work early in the afternoon, there was still plenty of time for a 12:30 lunch but NOOOO 2:30 suited them better. sharon called work and told them she would not be there in time almost resulting in her getting fired, we found out tonight that she was working. she worked for a little tonight and rang at about 11:45 telling us she had been in the hospital with a mild case of food poisoning that had affected her diabetes. umm my dad's family decided that this year they wanted to be cheap with there presents so everyone only got one present instead of like 5 or 6. the children dont understand because they normally only get presents from us and then get presents from the rest of the family on christmas. because they live so close to each other and have an actual christmas meal while my dad sharon and myself have christmas lunch with my mum's side of the family. the posh side compared with the crims.

i have been sick for the past 3 weeks fighting, originally,food poisoning and then getting a mild case again it wouldn't have affected me if i hadn't been sick the weekend before. and its still hanging around at the moment but it being me and the fact that i dont like going to the doctors and can sleep it off if left alone i will probably be fighting it for a few more weeks. the plus side i appear to have lost a little weight as i have been having trouble keeping food down or feeling the need to eat

while suffering from this food poisoning i was stupid enough to take some panafen and that made me really sick resulting in a lovely fever and everything else i was feeling being 10 times worse. it was also the final of summer comp badminton and i had to quit after 2 games. that was all good we won anyway but i was so lost i didn't realise i think i started to imagaine things and i walked out before they started the presentation so i could sit in the air conditioned car and fall asleep comfortably before dad came and opened and closed his car door. but at least it was more comfortable then leaning on a corner wall that really hurts after a while.

i dont really have any other news. actually yes i do i went and saw king kong with my dad last sunday all 3 hours and 7 minutes of it and absolutely loved it and have plans to go and see it again with sharon and adam dont care about being a third wheel loved the movie too much. also i was offered a saturday night shift with the radio station but decided against it because of an incident that occured the day i recieved the offer. the technical adviser for the station rang up during our show, tash and mine wednesday from 4-6pm, and complained about what we were talking about I ,take note, I asked listeners to call in and suggest a hair colour for me or what colour they have always wanted to dye there hair. something that relates to quite a few people i know they secretly want to do something drastic to there hair but are afraid of have to work and therefore it is inappropriate. anyway he called up and blamed it on tash even though i told him it was my idea, then he went on about how i did a great job the saturday before , i had agreed to fill in the show after his a mistake i might add because i took over a studio with a funky smell attached, and then he proceed to call tash an idiot thinking i wouldn't tell tash and then when i started to fight back with him he threatened to take us to the board of directors. in my time at the station i have found 2 people who are very suppportive and those two people are bev and dave. they have both given my ideas and ways to improve on my content and the way i convey messages. i called upon bev to tell her i wasn't interested in the evening job as i didn't want to see the technical director and i told her about what had happened the day before. she told me that he is no longer allowed to call in and comment on our show but i think the damage has been done and it will take time to repair. ohh yeah i also found that the tech director doesn't have the power to do anything about our show thats bev's job and she believes in what tash and i can do and that we are still learning from mistakes. we are always willing to listen to constructive critisim but any other type is not accepted.

ok thats it from tonight once again happy whatever it is that you might be celebrating this weekend i hope everything goes to plan. i'll write something new before the new yeari swear. anyway loves you all and i hope you get what you want.

Bloody Hell i'm bored

wont someone save me from this boredom i realised i'm a bit of a wuss today i want to call up a friend but dont have the guts probably because i may have been forgotten or that person has better things to do. a life for instants something i'm lacking at the moment. i am trying my best to get my house cleaned up so i can invite some friends over to hang out and not worry that they are going to think that i am dirty. the next room to hit after i finally get mine done is gonig to be sharon's i ahve decided to leave the kitchen to dad seen as how its all his papers that are makign that room a mess and all the old bed bags. sharons room is filled with everyones stuff she has bags of her junk nick nacks and stuff that she doesn't want anymore so i am going to go through them and see if there is anything i like in there and take it before it gets thrown out. i also have to dispose of the plastic rat cage that evel and knievel ate their way throw and clean out the small fish tank although i am un sure of what to do with that. it's a waste to throw it out but its too small for anything and we already have a fish tank. in going through sharon's room i am also going to free up a lot of space for all the random junk we have lying around our house. dad wants to make it into a gym but i dont think that will happen because the bunks are still in there and take up about a third of the room. i dont even know whether we need them anymore none of dad's family visit us and when the do they sleep elsewhere maybe we should just give them away and be done with it then we can get sharons room entirely using her room for the gym and maybe but a book case in there for books and magazines. i save all my magazines even if i dont look at them again. i need to get rid of all the old dolly's and girlfriends through because i haven't touched them in like 4 years so its safe to say i wont be using them anytime soon anyway i'll be able to find most of the info on this lovely thing called the internet. i ahve 3 years of AMCN in my room stacked in 4 or 5 different piles but those magazines i will use again so they will not be disappearing there are also a few skate mags that i will keep as well i am such a bad person when it comes to throwing things out. ok this has taken up some of my time and keep me from being bored for about 10 minutes. oh yeah i will get my VCE results on december the 12th i think i can't remember its not a big deal to me at the moment the most important thing is to get my prefferences decided whuich could prove to be difficult. anyway time to jet. see you fellow bloggers. i really do wonder where that hector could have gone.

it happened again

woke up hating. got over it cause i suddenly remembered that they are great. although i am totally still pissed of at dan and matt give us the run around next time also liked the fact dan was far away from the meeting spot when he told us. anyway we have agreed that next friday its a skate off. it will also be the last time em and chris and the rest of the gang see me with normal hair colour bring on the blue purple and white if the plain works oh yeah and the black maybe. anyway gunna be in melbourne next saturday hanging out and then staying in melton til monday. dad has commonwealth games training he got in as a volunteer. i did 2 radio shows this week i did one last night and the usual wednesday night. i gots me some new jeans for christmas cause mum decided we should go to fountain gate and do some shopping one of the pairs has pink in them. so not normal for me. umm what else what else oh yeah i went to a party at teej last night it was more a hang out session but still enjoyable. anyway its time for me to fly but i leave you with a parting comment how good is it to hear from someone you haven't in a while. it makes me feel all happy and nice hoorah

KaKaaw!!!

Hey bud whats shakin bacon? im so incredibly over not having anything to do anymore, like the only thing school did for me was make other stuff that wasnt school related seem even more fun cause i couldnt dso it all the time, and now that i can do whatever i want im so over it now lol i need a fuckin job, i mean theres only so many DVDs i can watch in a day! whats your record so far? ive only managed about 9, i working on it, cant be healthy for me but what can ya do? so whats goin down over there? fucken bites not havin Msnger anymore, fucken trijans i'll show them! *shakes fist at no one in particular then gives up* hey i wonder wherHector went? have you heard from him ta all these days? maybe he's dead or worse found something better to do with his time lol NOOOOOOOOOOO! awell, i better go i need to move all my paintings out of the hallway before ma gets back and has a go at me, also half the contents of my room are scattered all over the lounge room, meh! ill cya round bud have a good one!!!

Emmy fay